The howling grows louder

But it doesn’t come from outside

There’s no wolf in the parlor 

There’s no spirit in the hall

The burning starts to build now

Underneath the skin

It calls for the change of things 

Underneath the moon

Shapeshift

Change

Turn the body

The howling is within 

Tonight is the type of 

night

where I want to bite through the flesh of my cheek

and spit it into the face of every human being

but there ain’t enough of me to go around

never was

loneliness gives way to bitterness

even in the summer there can be a shitty day

I am the endless shitty days of summer

I am rain at the beach

I’m broken glass on a boardwalk

I am

perpetual 

misery

directed at everything

I think most people wish I was never born

I would too if I had to be with me

at least when I’m alone I can just shut

down

I’m raging at nothing and everything

I just want to fucking hold your hand and tell you I care

I just want things to be good like they were once

I think

I don’t fucking

know

I don’t know

i don’t

know

why i keep holding on

when hell is going to be there

no matter how long I

hang

and it just keeps getting harder

and more

painful 

to 

not

let go

When you want to hold someone

sometimes

it’s hard not to try to grab them

but no one likes being grabbed

don’t hurt

just play it cool, maybe they want to hold you too

and if not

then ask again in another lifetime

I can be gone in a few laser treatment therapies, I can be finally washed away like a stain
But you’re big and bold on me
Seeing you leaving me behind
Makes me want to scar up even more
blood for blood we shared
blood for the years I wasn’t there
blood for the pain I inflicted on you
blood for the lies and blood for the truth
You told me if you’d leave for good
You’d tell me so first 
I must of missed the note
I’ll write you one in blood
And seal it with a slash from my throat
You could of at least murdered me
Like we said that we’d do
If it had to be that way, I wouldn’t even had murdered you
Now I’m a bad hashtags

Soon I’ll be gone, GONE FUCKING GONE

You’ll still have moved on
How the fuck do I make it through tonight
if I fucking do
how do I make it through the pitch of tomorrow
the summer heat will set in soon
bile raises in my throat
the Eschaton is here
immanetized in full 
Soon I’ll be awash in blood or darkness
Either way is fine 
Love is a dog from hell

You never asked for me to need you

You never asked for me to be an asshole

I can’t figure it out myself 

why I need you to acknowledge me  

"I’m sorry."

ialwayssworewedstartaband:

-The title of my manifesto

-The contents of my manifesto

-The only thing on my gravestone; no name, just

-What I’m changing my name to so you can put my name on my gravestone

-The title of my biography 

-The entirety of my biography 

Only the dead know peace. To be alive is to be insane. Life is a desperate thrashing for moments of happiness like spots of sun through the clouds. I feel so grey, like a tombstone.

We move like ethereal spirits sliding through the curtain oh so red time doesn’t mean a thing its purity or death we move like fleeting moments fleeing the mind cold as the water where the movements are designed coffee as strong as atlas the world is on our back in the circle we find a purpose to find our tortured path we see the flight of birds with eyes like candlelight we walk in deep deep woods to find a hope all bathed in white we slumber in our greetings the challenge of hello understanding is a puzzle with an answer that unfolds we look at moonless midnight when darkness rides the sky and beg for some reprieve from the agony that is goodbye

Hold on you can be mine and I can be yours we just need to find a way to open the doors hold on you can be mine and I can be yours we just need to find a way to open the doors there is a duality or maybe good is gone there must be someway to fight against what’s wrong you can be mine and I can be yours we just need to find a way to open the doors hold on this moment will come and I will see you I will see you again and when I do I will be myself again

Hey man. Be good brother. Everything will be just fine. Fine as the thread around my finger that reminds me what to do. Fine as the length of garrote wire. Fine as the point on the knife that might end up in meat. Fine as the powder taking me up and down. Is tonight down? Or maybe with some tweaking it can be an up up time. Or some violent middle. Why not explore the lips of death. I’ve already killed, married, choked, spat on, and engaged in a manner unbecoming of a gentleman. I don’t believe in this being a fine end. Its a piss poor beginning. More shall come. I feel their call. They demand their leader. I must find them and teach them the ways of the circles and the cycles and spiderwebs within. Its all finite in a sense. The rim that holds the globe in. But inside the rotted core of the globe there are a million hands at work. Laying webs and traps for when they are free. Perhaps to bring wth them. Perhaps to use as a base or even just for practice. Let it go on. Let it lead. One day my own will find me and we will affirm our love and pain and emptiness into a deep black well on the other side of a wrought iron gate. Will that be fine? Posses one final tendril of another.

Hey man. Be good brother. Everything will be just fine. Fine as the thread around my finger that reminds me what to do. Fine as the length of garrote wire. Fine as the point on the knife that might end up in meat. Fine as the powder taking me up and down. Is tonight down? Or maybe with some tweaking it can be an up up time. Or some violent middle. Why not explore the lips of death. I’ve already killed, married, choked, spat on, and engaged in a manner unbecoming of a gentleman. I don’t believe in this being a fine end. Its a piss poor beginning. More shall come. I feel their call. They demand their leader. I must find them and teach them the ways of the circles and the cycles and spiderwebs within. Its all finite in a sense. The rim that holds the globe in. But inside the rotted core of the globe there are a million hands at work. Laying webs and traps for when they are free. Perhaps to bring wth them. Perhaps to use as a base or even just for practice. Let it go on. Let it lead. One day my own will find me and we will affirm our love and pain and emptiness into a deep black well on the other side of a wrought iron gate. Will that be fine? Posses one final tendril of another.

Spiraling ever further down. Light is a muted shadow of what it was